Keys
by PinkCaptions
Summary: "Everyone says Neji Hyuuga is a total gentleman, and would never be caught sticking his hand down a girl's panties."


Loud, excessive, and exhausting was how Neji felt about most parties. Naruto hosting one was no different, if not _worse_.  
He was here on account of Hinata's request, and so he found himself alone confided to an orange couch for the time being.

"Excuse me? Are you Neji Hyuuga?"

While most party go-ers left the Hyuuga to be alone at house parties, on occasion a few still tried to make conversation. Neji looked up from the drink in his hand. The girl who had asked the question stood with her hands behind her back, face pushed slightly forward, almost comically staring into his eyes.  
He decided then and there that she was just fucking adorable.

Brown eyes and brown hair? She must be a curtain matches the drapes type girl.

"Yes."

Her eyes seemed to gleam at his answer.

"As in, Hyuuga Neji of the Hyuuga Clan? Cousin to Hinata Hyuuga? Neji Hyuuga the prodigy who graduated top of his year?"

"Yes, that would be-"

Before he could finish his answer, she whipped forth a frying pan from behind her back aimed precisely at his face.

 _Clank!_

The last thing he could remember before losing consciousness was the throbbing pain of his head and rush of blood he felt looking at the way she smiled.

* * *

He felt a gentle pressure on his forehead; something cold, damp, and wet was top of his skin.  
He groaned in pain and stirred.

"Hold still."

The voice from earlier commanded him. He groaned again, and opened his eyes.

There she was. Her hands cradled around his head, holding what he assumed to be a wet towel against him. His head in her lap. She seemed almost angelic, if he hadn't any prior knowledge of her assault against him.

"You shouldn't move so much yet. I'm sorry I hit you harder than I expected."  
She rewet the towel as she spoke and wrung it out beside him.

"Where am I?"

"Konohagakure beach."

" _What!?_ " He shot up at the realization, "We're on the edge of the city? Are you mad? Who even are you?"

He gave her the infamous Hyuuga glare as he gathered his thoughts and more and more questions filled his mind.

"I'm really really _reaalllly_ sorry! I just- I need you to be here for a few hours, and I promise I'll get you back to Naruto's party, but I just needed you to be here and not at the party messing up our plans!"

" _Plans?_ "

"I mean! God, well you must know-" She found herself poorly pacing through her words as he laid his eyes on her as if piercing through her soul. It was a talent she figured, that only he could look so attractive and fearsome all at once.

"Know what?," He practically spat out his words, "I know that you've kidnapped me and dragged me out here alone."

"Look, I know it looks bad but-"

"But what?"

And with that, she felt her own anger retaliate against his.

"Well, if you'd stop interrupting me so damn much I'd tell you!"

Silence. She huffed and found that he had now moved across from her, sitting with his legs crossed, and arms across his chest-as if taunting her for an explanation now.

"I'm Tenten, one of Hinata's friends from school. Look, you must know about Hinata's feelings for Naruto. We've all hatched out a plan to get the two of them together, but how is anyone supposed to do anything with you playing big brother the entire night?"

She pounced her hand in her fist for extra emphasis at the last sentence, and her cheeks huffed out a bit.

As ridiculous as she was, Neji found himself staring at her brown doe eyes as she explained the rest of the plan to him. For her to assault him, knock him out, drag him far far away so he could not interfere with a declaration of "true love" (at least, that's what she called it).

He sighed.

"You have it all wrong. I really have to get going back to the party now, so if you don't mind."

"Yes, and I promised you I'd drive you back afterwards," She pointed to her car in a distance.

"No, Tenten. I need to go back _now not later_. So if you don't mind, kindly give me the keys to the car and I'll be on my way."

"Well, I've hidden them."

At this, his eyes were glazed with displeasure.  
He stepped towards her, and she took a step back. Until finally he had her view from anything else, aside from him. His eyes cast downwards at hers and his body into her personal space.

"Tenten. Tell me where the keys are."

"No. I won't." She found herself flustered and red. She had been all but inches from his body, and could feel his breath with every word he spoke. Her skin crawled at their proximity. Had he no sense of space? And god, why was he even better looking up close?

"I won't ask you again," He spoke directly into her ear this time. His voice clear and articulate, and his breath against her neck.

"You're making me uncomfortable," She told him. Her hands were brought up to his chest in an attempt to push him away, but he caught them before she could make her movement.

"Good," He continued to talk into her ear, "That's more or less the point, Tenten. So why don't you tell me where you put those keys?"

He gripped her tighter and which each word moved closer and closer until-

" _The rocks!_ "

"...Pardon?" He let go of her, but maintained the distance of their bodies against each other, and cocked an eyebrow at her words.

"You heard me. The rocks over there by the shoreline. I threw over all of the rocks and place my key underneath one of them-"

"Stop lying."

"How do you know I'm lying? I told you I hid them in an impossible place didn't I?"

"Because I heard your keys jingling on you," He sighed once more, and backed away from her "I was trying to guess where they were on you based on the sound."

Tenten remained silent and kept her eyes downcast, as if refusing to acknowledge him.  
Perhaps he had been too harsh on her, he thought. Afterall, he was coming off as awfully brutal and frightening.  
His expression softened a bit, "I'm sorry if I scared you Tenten. The situation with Hinata and Naruto is a little bit more complicated than you think. I know you have the keys, Tenten, so please give them to me."

If possible, Neji found that Tenten blushed even harder and was now turning into a concerning shade of red.

"I can't." Her voice now was soft barely a whisper. It was the least lively he had seen her and completely unlike before.

"It's alright, Tenten. I know you must have been startled by me but please give me the keys"

"No. You don't understand, Neji. I hid them the one place I knew you'd never look."

"Well, yes, and I know they're on you now so just-"

"The keys are in my panties."

"... _Excuse me?_ " Neji Hyuuga gaped at her answer, and stared at her with an equally beet read face. He stumbled a distance apart from her, unable conjure up any other words. Thoughts raced his head about the keys. Oh good god, what if they were wet with her... _essence_? He found himself bringing his hand up to his face, unable to look at her.

"Everyone says Neji Hyuuga is a total gentleman, and would never be caught sticking his hand down a girl's panties."

Neji flushed at her words, "Well I wouldn't say _never_ but I certainly wouldn't do that to a fellow female I just met."

"See? It's a totally foolproof plan!" She seemed to take pride in this fact, and jumped up excitedly, pumping her fist in the air matter a factly.  
Which would be totally fine, if Neji could pretend to ignore the sound of the jingling now and found himself with an overload of blood rushing throughout his body.

"It's not sanitary, Tenten," No, it's obscene and crude, and frankly awkwardly turning him on.

"Shoving your hand down the panties of a female you just met? It might be a bit forward, but I hardly think it's not sanitary, Neji."

"No. Keeping your keys in your panties! It's not sanitary." He was ready to stop this conversation now. He wanted nothing more to go home now. Forget the party, forget trying to help Hinata and Naruto achieve true love, he wanted go home and let the night end.

"My car, my rules."

Sweet Mother of Jesus, just let him live through the night.

* * *

They were back at the car now. Tenten started the engine, gave the gas peddle a light push and they headed on the country side road back to the inner city of Konoha.

"Mm, Neji?"

"Yes?" He looked out the window and not at her ( _anything but her_ at this point).

"What exactly did I get wrong about Naruto and Hinata's situation?"

He continued to stare out the window captivated by how the street lights steady rays hit the car. He let the question linger for a bit longer, taking in the silence and comfort of her.

"Hinata asked me to join her tonight."

"Oh? That's interesting."

"She told me about her feelings for Naruto along time ago, and I overheard that Naruto likes her as well. I wanted to go tonight to scare Naruto into asking her out."

 _Thump!_

The car came to a sudden stop without warning and Neji slammed against the window.

" _What!?_ " Tenten stared at him with disbelief, "You weren't there to beat Naruto into a bloody pulp?"

He laughed, "No. I think that I may not seem like the type, but all I want the two of them to be happy."

Her eyes wide open as she came to realization, "Oh god! Ugh, I really messed this up didn't I?"  
She slumped into the steering wheel and used it to shield her face from him.

"Yes, but it's alright," He shot her a knowing smile, and settled a hand on her back, "I wouldn't call getting kidnapped by a cute girl the worst thing in the world. At least tonight was...interesting."

"Yeah, being cornered by an attractive asshole wasn't so terrible either," Tenten lifted her head and sat back upright. She grasped his hand, and not before long started the car onto the road again.

"...So, Neji?"

"Yes?"

"...Is it true Neji Hyuuga doesn't fuck on the backseats of cars, or am I just blindly assuming things again?"

* * *

A/N: I have done nothing productive with my life today. Written in a hurry because I decided to rewatch all of Neji's episodes last night. Honestly, what a beautiful tsundere baby 3  
Hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I had fun writing it! :' )


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